Sunday, December 14, 2008

I'm such a pathetic geek

Yesterday was a fantastic day for me! I finally felt human again after 2 weeks of misery, and DH treated me to an outing...to Bar Boy! I got a new KitchenAid hand mixer that comes with a dough hook and a beverage whip attachment. This saves the purchase of a new immersion blender, which was a thrill for my frugal minded pocketbook, but a bit of a disappointment to my greedy need for every kitchen gadget known to man! I also got some new utensils, another bay marie pot to hold aformentioned utensils, some juice glasses for my mother, a new scoop since I broke the old one (thus the trip to Bar Boy!!) and a box grater.
Today, the kids and I portioned out 4 dozen chocolate crinkle cookies with the new scoop. Right now I have a pot of soup bubbling away so I can use my new ladle!
Wait till you hear what I am getting for Christmas! I have to keep it a secret, because the kids don't know I know, but it's a real winner!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Oprah's weight is not news

Give me a break. There are riots in Greece. A fighter jet has incinerated most of a family. Caylee Anthony has been missing since June. The whole world is in a financial crisis. When I turn on CNN I expect to hear news. Not gossip.
I am disgusted.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Some People's Kids...

I do not much like other people's children. Frankly, half the time I don't much like my own children. Come to think of it, I don't much like people period!!!!
Saturday night we agreed to keep our friends' 2 children while they went to a party. These are delightful children, well mannered and generous with my children. They played Clue, they went outside to play manhunt, they had a snack and finally they settled in to watch a movie. It was absolutely no trouble to have them here at all. My faith in parenting had been partially restored!

I understand that times are different, and that I was raised in an area where families were all the same. But aren't morals and a code of decent conduct universal? Don't all parents teach their children manners and basic tools of conflict resolution? I stand amazed at the behaviors that are tolerated, and sometimes even encouraged, by parents today. In a restaurant this afternoon a girl of about 10 or 11 was giving her mother a heck of a time. My own daughter looked at me wide eyed and said "Is that what I sound like?" To which I replied "Sometimes." And she said "Well yes, at home sometimes I know I can be a little bratty, but if I ever spoke to you like that in public I wouldn't have any teeth!!!!" Disclaimer: We don't actually beat our kids, but the threat is ever present :)
Our waitress commented about how polite my kids were, and they were. They know how to behave in most situations. At home, they do not always act like well mannered kids, but we give them a bit of leeway at home. If they are going to mouth off or throw temper tantrums, the safety and sanctuary of our home is a fine place to do it.
No wonder our schools are in trouble and teenagers are being dropped off at fire stations. Learning begins at home, and an out of control 3 year old will become an out of control 13 year old unless parents step in and be parents. I don't believe childhood is a time to be your kids' friend. You will have all of their adult years to play that role.
Kids need role models and parents need to take that responsibility seriously.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

It's the End of 4-H as we know it, I feel crappy...

I am writing this through tears and probably will not be able to put down a cohesive post so please forgive me.
Times are tough all over the country, and unfortunately Cornell Cooperative Extension is not immune to budget cuts. The Suffolk County budget for 2009 was facing a defecit of $940,000 and cuts had to be made. As a taxpayer, I understand that and appreciate fiscal responsibility. Unfortunately, the bulk of those cuts were made to youth development programs, including but not limited to Suffolk County 4-H. I would like to show you what that looks like.
First, there is the obvious loss of jobs. The 4-H program Director, the Administrative Assistant (a title which does not even begin to describe all she does) and the Life Skills Director have all lost thier jobs. No funding means no staff.
Have your kids taken the "Getting Ready to Babysit" program at a local library? Have you attended a class on the farm? Have you been kayaking or fishing or hiking or had a class at the Marine Center in Southold? Have you been to PumkinFest? Have your kids enjoyed Horseback riding at Dorothy P. Flint or camping at Peconic Dunes? Did you attend the Barn Dance at Martha Clara the past few summers? Have you taken the Chocolate Class at LISC? Are your kids taking part in the River Ecology research? These are all 4-H programs. No funding, no programs.
Every single youth development program run in by CCE in this county is a research based, tested and true 4-H curricula. Did you know that?
Second, no staff could mean the loss of Taste of 4-H, an annual gathering of all county clubs where we learn new projects to take back to our clubs and get information on the county wide community service project for that year. Did anyone recieve a brochure this summer on Emergency Preparedness? With a striking young Mastiff on the cover ? Did you learn what to do in the event of a natural disaster and where you and your pets can go? This was a 4-H project. Yaphank Farm is going to house an animal shelter, in conjunction with the Suffolk Sherrifs department, as a direct result of the efforts of our 4-H kids and leaders.
Other losses could include the presentation program, which is the cornerstone of 4-H. Capital days, where 2 teens travel to Albany to spend the day learning alongside a local legislative representative. Career Days, where teens can travel to Cornell and explore vocational opportunities in ag and science.
You will not see this budget cut on the front page of your morning paper. You will not hear about it on the evening news. See, 4-H'ers are not a showy bunch. We won't be knocking on your door trying to sell you cookies. Our pictures won't be in a newspaper achieving a badge or plaque for completing a project and you won't see us taking money outside a light show. We will be quietly learning, researching and serving our community. The real loss here is the feeling of hope and accomplishment that 4-H instills in our kids and our communities.

Suffolk County 4-H needs your help.
Now, more than ever "Volunteers are the Heart of 4-H".
We need community representation on the 4-H Program Advisory Committee (PAC) and we need dollars. Which is a catch 22. If we raise the dollars to keep the programs running we will lose the funding in the future. If we don't raise the dollars, we cease to exist. No win situation. However, I believe in this program and I believe in the hearts of our kids. If you have ever thought about joining 4-H, now is the time. Join an existing club or start your own. Ask me how. If you have been looking for a voice in youth development, here is your chance. Join the
4-H PAC, ask me how. Is your business in need of an end of year tax deduction? 4-H Youth Development needs your dollars, ask me how!!!!! Can you teach a class or set up tables and chairs? Can you push a broom for 20 minutes on 1 Saturday? Can you evaluate a presentation? Can you donate a case of water or a pizza or a case of snacks?
The 4-H PAC will not let the kids feel the squeeze of these cuts. We will get up and beg, borrow and plead with our friends for the programs our kids love. We will survive this, hopefully with a louder voice and wider community representation.
Your time is now, ask me how!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Migraines, CSE, hassle of all hassles...

My son (just 7) has been getting migraines since he was really little. Although it took a really long time for me to recognize then as such since he was not yet verbal enough to give me all the signs I needed to properly identify his headaches. Now that he is older, and can give me better information I realized he had all the classic symptoms, pain behind one eye, sensitivity to light and noise, then the vomiting (sorry!) followed by sleep and then a general ache for a day or two.
So finally, in July, I took him to our family physician who recommended that we see a neurologist. My husband had an aneurysm that ruptured (there's a whole other story) and I had migraines as a child. So to be safe, he suggested we go see a pediatric neurologist. We went to Stony Brook and saw Dr. Gail Schuman, she was absolutely fabulous and made great dietary and supplement suggestions, as his occurrences are not frequent enough to require medication. However, in the course of her exam, she noticed some weaknesses which prompted her to ask about some of his fine motor skills. He is not reading or writing with any great success and he cannot tie his shoes or accurately button a dress shirt. These are not things which worried me, as he is a boy, he has on October birthday, and he is just not motivated to write. He did learn how to ride without training wheels on his 3rd birthday, he fed himself early and has a crazy mastery of sports. But, his Dad and all of his uncles and his grandfather all went to college on full athletic scholarships, so again, I was not connecting any dots.
In any case, the neurologist wrote a prescription for a PT and OT evaluation as well as a neuropsychological battery. All Greek to me, but we have been getting an education. Firstly, dealing with the school district for services as a homeschooler is a nightmare. And we have a pretty compliant and, dare I say, helpful district. I sent them the letter requesting the PT/OT evaluation on 9/6/2008. It took numerous phone calls before I finally received the packet to fill out the official request just before Halloween. This is a lengthy form asking about social and educational skills, home setting, language and other minutia. As my son's primary teacher the task fell to me to complete the form. At the time I received the packet I also received a letter saying that I would be contacted by a District Psychologist to go over the form and if he/she approved it the process would begin. Well, it wasn't until this week that I got a call from the Elementary Psychologist, who was delightful. Thank goodness, because upon review it became painfully obvious that I had not filled out the form adequately. I was trying to be concise, which did not accurately convey the nature of K3's problems. So I was sent home for a do over! I felt like I was 10 :0 But I appreciate her time and am glad she was helpful and sympathetic to our concerns. I redid the form and will meet with her again on Monday to get her signature and have the CSE request forwarded to Pupil Personnel Services. Now, the monkey wrench in this stage is that we have completed a marking period and therefore have to send a quarterly report of our children's progress to PPS. Well, as a result of all the difficulties my son has been having he has not completed all of the work that we delineated in our Individualized Home Instruction Plan (IHIP). Fortunately I have never been late with anything until this year, and even so have only been late with my son and not my daughter. So I called PPS and was told not to worry, that they will note the file. We shall see.
Now, the neuropsych is a whole other story and another nightmare. But that is a post for another time.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

I NEED A NANNY!!!!!!

We have been without a nanny for nearly 6 weeks now and I am at the end of my rope. My husband and I both work, and although we have a great deal of flexibility, we do both need to be in the office. Preferably together for at least a few hours a week. This has not happend in well over a month and it is really taking it's toll.
We have enlisted the services of 2 agencies, TWO!!! Our requests were that the potential nanny be between 30 & 50 and not have any kids of thier own. Well, neither agency has been able to meet that request. One girl, who I felt very positively about, called while we were in Boston to tell me she just found out she is 10 weeks pregnant with twins. Great for her!!!! Horrible for me. I had another interview scheduled for yesterday afternoon and rushed home from an amazing day with our homeschool group in East Hampton. I got home to find her college aged children had been in a car accident and she was unable to keep her interview. Did I say no kids? I had an interview sheduled this morning with a girl who is working in a preschool, no kids, lives in Remsenberg and has 2 Rotweillwers. 10 minutes before her interview I get a call from the agency telling me she has decided that she and her fiance are moving so she is not intested in a long term position.
God help me, I am going to either end up on the unemployment line or divorce court.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Fall in New England


The kids and I just had one of the best trips in recent times. Last Thursday afternoon we took the ferry from Orient to New London. A very good friend moved to Connecticut and we made plans to spend a weekend with she and her family, and see their new house and barn for the first time.
The ferry ride was calm and on time, and the ride from the dock to their home was beautiful, albeit confusing. They are in a pretty remote area, in fact we had to drive a bit into Rhode Island and make a u-turn to get to their road! But the trees were ablaze with golds and reds and it was a breathtaking sight.
Friday morning, after a quick breakfast, we headed for Boston, about an hour's ride. We got there around 11 and our first stop was the New England Aquarium. This was the only disappointment of the whole trip. The kids had seen it all in 45 minutes, the only impressive part was the many, many different kinds of penguins.
We walked over to Quincy Market and sampled our way in one end and out the other as we made our way to The Union Oyster House, the oldest restaurant in America. http://www.unionoysterhouse.com/ This was a history lesson all by itself! The clam chowder was out of this world, but here is my tip: Once you have had crab cakes in Maryland, do not ever order them anywhere else :)

After lunch we took a water taxi over to the USS Constitution, "Old Ironsides". http://www.ussconstitution.navy.mil/ Because our friend is an active naval chief, we were able to get a private tour. I didn't think the kids were even remotely paying attention to the Airman that gave us our tour, but once we got home it was all they talked to Daddy about! There is a lot of copper in the underbelly of the ship (not a correct term, I am sure) and the kids were fascinated to learn that it was all crafted by Paul Revere! It was also interesting to see that all of the cannons were named. All in all, it was a truly humbling and unforgettable experience.

After the ship we went back to Quincy Market to have dessert. I had an amazing pumpkin cheesecake, absolutely perfect. The kids had ice cream, pudding and a muffin.
We had intended to do the Science Museum also, but by this time the kids were really fried and there was still work to be done back at our host's house. So after a long nap on the ride home, the kids made short work of feeding 7 horses, 5 dogs and a rabbit.


Saturday was spent working, grooming and riding, 4 wheeling and other outdoor fun. The weather was again perfect and we were outside from breakfast to dinner.
Sunday we packed up and came home, exhausted, but happy.
There is no greater way to teach the kids history than to let them see it, feel it and live it. I am certain this is a trip they will not soon forget.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Where does the time go?

I have about 15 different blog posts in my head, and can't find the time to organize my thoughts and get them translated to cyberspace. We are nearly 10 weeks done with school, my babies are all another year older, holidays are right around the corner and I do not feel a single bit more organized and settled than I did a year ago.

There has to be a better way. We chose homeschooling so we could experience life as a family. See our children achieve important milestones in their lives and shape their morals and civic outlooks ourselves. And to a large degree I feel we are successfully doing those things. But some days I wonder how much of "the other stuff" we really need to do. The field trips, the play dates the classes.... what is the right balance? Obviously kids need to explore their interests and abilities. But in all of the running around are we losing their need to just be?

Each year we go from one extreme to another and I have yet to find the right balance. We try to limit the kids to one extra curricular activity at a time. But then you start adding in all the educational field trips and the next thing you know you have no time for schoolwork.

We have had some fantatic field trip opportunities this fall, and I feel blessed to live here. But someday, somehow, I hope to learn balance.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

I'm A Little Spoiled


I took the kids to Tiana Beach Friday night for the Hampton Bays Civic Association's 90th Anniversary celebration. There was a band, free ice cream and fireworks. We packed a picnic and some warm clothes and settled in for the night.


I was feeling pretty good about myself for having all of the things my family would need to be comfortable at the beach for a long night. Blankets, sweats, baby powder to get the sand off, bug spray, socks, snuggle buggles, glow sticks... I thought we were pretty well set. Then I got there are realized that I am a complete amature and I have a lot to learn about beach bumming, and there is nothing "bumming" about it.


I am not typically a person with a case of the "I Want That"'s. The last time I felt this way was about 3 years ago when I saw the Flavia Fusion on "I Want That: Kitchens and Baths" on HGTV. I went to my friend's mother's house later that day and she had bought one, it's fabulous and so I bought one for us. I still love it as much today as I did the day I got it, and it was, in retrospect, a pretty great purchase.


So, back to the story. The group beside us had a coffee table! They had hors d'ourves and drinks and a citronella lantern all nicely sitting on this great little table. Then I saw another family come, and they too had this amazing table and I watched them pull it out of a nylon bag, unroll the table and screw in the legs! OK, I was totally jealous and could not wait to get home to Google this crazy thing.


I should have remembered where I was, and when I found this ingenious piece of beach furniture I nearly choked on the price tag. Then, dear husband to the rescue, he walks in and said, "If you want it, buy it". Have I mentioned lately that I love this man? I found it for $30 less on another site and so one day soon I too will have an amazing beach table. No more sandwiches dropped in the sand. No more sandy bottomed drinks, no more slumming it at the beach!!!!


Now, if only I had this epiphany in May :)



Sunday, August 24, 2008

Food Memories

Our Golden Earthworm CSA has been full of big, red, juicy tomatoes. Any my neighbor, with whom I share a share, is allergic to fresh tomatoes, so I get the full portion! Today I was feeling fall, and currently have a pot of stewed tomatoes simmering away on the stove. As I was sitting going through some mail, I had a flashback to my great-grandmother's farm in Cape May, NJ. In it's day it was apparently a huge plantation, but in my memory there were just acres of lima beans and a kitchen garden. But for some reason, the smell of these stewed tomatoes is making my think of her house. Tomatoes are a staple of summer farm suppers, so I guess that's what it is. I love them fried with gravy, and stuffed with huge, homemade, buttery croutons. I also love a good, cold hunk of liverwurst on white bread with an ice cold slice of tomato and tons of mayo. But that is only something I want once a year, as I always think I like liverwurst, but it's really kind of mushy and strong.
I hope one day my kids can look back fondly on some of the meals I prepare, it is a wonderful link between the generations.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

And they all came tumbling down...

... I love my son. He is a true joy and a great blessing in my life. But if he wasn't so darn cute I'd kill him!!!!!
My friend and neighbor has a beautiful pergola attached to her garage with a wonderful tree growing up through it. My son decided to climb the tree and play on the roof of the garage. I'm sure you can all imagine where I'm going with this...of COURSE he fell, he's my boy!
Two summer's in a row we ended up in the Southampton ER with his chin gashed open, and last summer his sister joined the annual trek when she fractured her wrist at Meschutt. Oh, she also fell off the basement stairs and got a concussion.
Can we PLEASE have a summer without injury before my kids are grown? Is that really too much to ask?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Movin' to the Country, Gonna eat a lot of peaches

Anyone remember that song? 6fm?
http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/p/presidents_of_the_united_states_of_america/peaches.html

This year it was apricots I peeled and jammed a million of, but this song has been running through my head thanks to a mental jog by my friend Stephanie.
If I never see another peach, apricot or cucumber it will be too soon!!! Although, I didn't get to can peaches yet this year, and if my kids get into winter without jars of fresh summer peached lining the walls of our pantry it may not be pretty here at the Smith house.

Last year we went to a local U Pick farm after our annual Back to No School picinic. They had lots of cracks* so it was cheap and wonderful. Maybe we will try that again this year, who knows!

*Cracks are fruits that have either fallen from the branch and split open, or have split from being overly ripe. The skin looks atrocious, but the fruit inside if perfect. These cracks are just right for canning and jam making.

Our little girl is growing up!

I went to PA for a few days for one of three annual canning pilgrimages. My sister offered to keep my kids at her house for the 3 days so my mom and I could get everything done without interruption. I got to my sister's on a Sunday afternoon, spent the day there, then went up to my mom's that evening.

In 2 1/2 days my mom and I managed to put up 2 dozen pints of peach jam, 6 pints of pickled vegetables, 10 quarts of bread and butter pickles, a dozen quarts of banana pickles and 29 pints of apricot jam...holy nellie, it was a whirlwind of activity!

On Wednsday morning I left my mom's and went to my sister's to pick up the kids. They had a blast with my sister. They went to the pool during the day and to the Goshen Fair at night. My nephew's won 1st and 2nd place in the Lego competition and my oldest nephew won first prize in the Hershey's cocoa bake off. Not only did he win a cash prize and a big ribbon, he now gets to go to the PA Farm Show and compete with all the other winners across the state!!! What a great time!

Anyway, when I got to my sister's house my yongest child (just shy of 5 at that time) told me she wasn't coming, she was staying with Aunt Dawnie. Well, I nearly fell off my chair let me tell you.

So, i left her there and fretted for several days that she would change her mind and my sister would be left with a whiny child. Turns out she had such a great time she didn't even want to stop playing to talk to me half the time! She went shopping, out to eat, had a sleepover and Grandma's (with more shopping and dining out) and loved playing with her cousins all day.

She is back home now, thanks to a 4 days visit with my sister and another of our friends and all the associated children. Now we start preparing for 10 days without our oldes daughter...but that is a post for another time.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Homeschooling at it's finest!

Today is a day homeschoolers dream about! The kids all slept in (till 8:00!) and I had a whole hour and a half this morning to catch up on email and get the animals fed and watered. After everyone had breakfast the kids all went about their work diligently. First the little kids and I sat in the living room with a book and cd and they each followed along as if they knew what they were reading. Then we went back to the kitchen for spelling BINGO. No one complained when one filled a card before the other, and no one balked when I told them they could not yet eat their Reese's Pieces markers.
Kenny worked on a 20 problem subtraction page while Kyleigh did a 20 problem additon page. I had no idea Kyle knew how to write her numbers, as it is not something I taught her! Both kids got all of thier questions correct and were so excited about choosing their stickers! And of course eating their treats.
There is no greater source of pride for me than to watch my children master a skill for the first time. They are so proud of themselves, and couldn't wait to tell Daddy about their accomplishments! And an added bonus, because of their discipline it is only 11:00 and we are done schooling for the day! Except Jessie, she has another hour or so depending on how many subjects she chooses to tackle.
We have lots of errands to run then we get to relax for a bit with a program at the library. And we are inviting friends for supper, which would be the perfect end to a perfect day...now if only tomorrow would be so idyllic :)

Friday, July 4, 2008

Uh-Oh those Summer Nights...

On Tuesday, July 1st, our oldest daughter turned 11. We are not a family that does birthday parties any more elaborate than a family cake, so the kids tend to get some pretty great gifts. This year, I bought 4 tickets to see Grease on Broadway! I know, I'm a great mom :)

We decided to take an early train so we could gawk at the excess of Times Square and have a leisurely meal. We were also meeting my sister and brother in law who came in from Philadelphia for the day. But of course, the best laid plans... apparently there were brush fires near the tracks in Brentwood that day so we didn't end up getting in to Penn Station until nearly 4:30pm. Due to our delay I hailed a cab rather than walk the 14 blocks; and dear husband very politely requested she and I not take the subway alone (but that's another post!).

So we met my sister at Toys R Us, and poor daughter was having complete sensory overload and an uncharacteristic case of the "I want that"'s; but we left without a purchase and all is well.

A friend had told me earlier in the day about restaurant row, which seems really obvious now but was previously unknown to this farm girl. It was like Mecca! My sister and I walked up and down with our tongues hanging out just imagining all the possibilities if it had just been she and I. While dear daughter have a wide pallate, it was hot and she was tired so we played it a bit safe.

We chose The Joshua Tree, which had a crazy Prix Fixe offer: a glass of wine, soup or salad, any entree, dessert, coffee or tea.... for $25.95!!!! Jackpot!!! We got a chicken Marsala with steamed broccoli, a NY Strip topped with Stilton over broccoli rabe and roasted fingerling potatoes, and a grilled shrimp risotto . The risotto was underseasoned, but perfectly cooked. Everything else was delicious. The children's menu ($6.95!!!) offered JR penne with grilled chicken and a side of onion rings along with a drink and dessert!!!!

Oh, the dessert. Included with our meal was a trio of homemade sorbets; pomegranete-blueberry, mango and coconut...heaven in a frozen dish. We also shared a chocolate fondue platter with rice crispy treats, bananas, strawberries and marshmellows for dipping...incredible.

We then walked the block and a half to the Brooks Atkinson Theatre for the show. Anyone alive the the 70's has to have memories of belting out one of those iconic songs to the sounds of a scratchy record player. The show was exciting from start to finish, although the talent was more of an off Broadway caliber. If you recall, this show was cast via an American Idol like television show, and that is kind of obvious. The actors are talented, no doubt, but this is Broadway and expectations are high. Speaking of American Idol, the part of the Teen Angel who counsels Frenchie to go back to High School is being played by Taylor Hicks. He has definitely had some voal training since his own American Idol days and his performance was great. But there were some harmonica parts written in which were clearly an afterthought once he was cast. A phenomenal musical performance, but not congruent with the overall tenor of Grease.

I got front row mezzanine seats on my daughter's birthday for more than $40 less than rear mezzanine prices. If you are fortunate enough to find excellent seats at a great price I would definitely recommend this show, it was entertaining and engaging and we found ourselves smiling A LOT!!!!! But don't pay Broadway prices for the show as it is currently casted, wait for the movie :)

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Vacation

We are taking a vacation to the beach... silly, right? My cousin is graduating from Ocean City High School so my whole family and some long time friends are renting a house for a week. There are not enough beds for everyone, it is a 5 hour drive and I have to board my dog...all to go to a beach exactly like the one we have a few miles down the road? I must be nuts.

I am taking all of our bikes and very much looking forward to riding every place we need to go. It will be nice to sit on the front porch and see the ocean rolling along, and there are dolphins jumping every morning just after sunrise. The boardwalk will provide limitless entertainment for the kids as will their cousins and honorary cousin. I will have other grown ups around in case I feel the need to shower without an audience or, God forbid, take a bike ride alone! I really enjoy my sister, and it will be nice to sit on the beach with her like we used to do as kids. Ironically, in the 8 years I have lived here my family has never visited in the summer! Apparently the thought of battling Long Island traffic in the summer does not appeal to them. Funny how I always manage to get to PA a few times each summer unscathed...

Anyway, I am making lists and trying to figure out how to pack up everything a family of 4 (no Daddy this trip) will need for a week, including bicycles. I also have to take a 2 month supply of Monavie and Tastefully Simple products to everyone I will not see again till August! I hope to come home with significantly less, but somehow that seems unlikely!

Summer has arrived, I can't wait to enjoy every minute!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Wish List Item #12

12. If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.

I was sitting at East End Arts Council this afternoon waiting for my oldest daughter to finish her Art class. My 4yo was sitting with me reading a library book...yes, actually reading a book. An early reader, but still reading. As people were coming and going they were quite amazed, which was a little astonishing to me. And while I would love to take credit for having produced such an "advanced" child, I really had little to do with her progress. Sure, we talk about letter sounds, and I read to the kids, but she did most of the work all on her own.

Now, I also have a 6.5yo who is not reading, and shows very little interest. He has recently been inspired by the See More Readers written by Seymour Simon, but even that is sporadic at best. However, this child retains nearly everything that is read to him, and has a wide knowledge base. He remembers King Sargon from his sister's Story of the World lessons when he was only 4! And has since found considerable commonality between Sargon and Moses...who would have thought?

Homeschooling allows us the ability to let our kids be kids in their own time and in their own way. Oh how I wish my two little ones were on the same page and I could teach them both the same lessons at the same time, but that just isn't so. They learn completely differently, and I am blessed to have the freedom to nurture each of them, right where they are.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Horse Crazy




I grew up in the middle of Lancaster County amid vast expanses of farmland. My family had the same dairy farm for dozens of generations until me. I was an active member of FFA and have done my share of cow milking... and tipping but that is another story.

I have been extremely blessed by my friend Barbara. Not only is she a wonderful friend to me, she is a horse person and has taught my children a love and respect for horses that I am not sure i could have imparted in them. I also have in-laws that are horse people, and are wonderfully encouraging to the children.
So now my daughter is at the point in her life where she wants a horse of her own. Partial lease of someone else's horse is no longer acceptable to her. I, of course, preached the virtues of being grateful for what you have, but to little avail. She is not ready for a horse, I am not ready for a horse, we do not need a horse.

Should you pass me in the store, or call to say hello, please take a mintue to tell me that we do not need a horse! Remind me that I have 3 children, 2 fish, a tortoise and a really big dog...all of which poop and need to be fed. Remind me that my darling husband, who does not really want me working at all, has asked me to work another day during the busy season. Remind me that we live on an island full of beaches and beach activities, and that I may like to visit them once in awhile. Remind me that I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, look forward to taking a decadently long vacation to Florida in the fall... where I spend 2 weeks taking care of 3 kids, 4 dogs, 8 horses and my husband's 95 year old Grandpa.... Oh, nevermind.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

MLM Rant

I am not opposed to people making money off a new product. The multi-level-marketing craze is making a comeback of Amway proportion. And I admit, I have a few obsessions myself. However, it makes no sense to me to pay someone for the privilege of selling their product for them!

There are 2 products I love and use, Sensaria Skin Care and Longaberger baskets. I certainly use both of these products enough to reap benefits from becomming a distributor. However, both companies charge you an annual fee to remain as a consultant! This is ludicrous to me.

I have a new addiction, Monavie. I have been listening to the acai berry claims for years. There have been write ups in the catalogs I recieve from our natural food buying club. Oprah uses Monavie, so does Matt Lauer and a host of other celebrities. I have seen the brochures in doctor's offices, nail salons and bookstores. A few months ago the girl with whom I share an office began taking it and says it has "cured" her arthritis. Then, a few weeks ago, my friend Bridgett started taking it. She is someone I know well, someone I speak to daily, several times in fact. She sang it's praises and so I decided it was time to jump on board.

Unfortunately, I had already researched the company, and am pretty disgusted with their distribution plan. It it set up like a true pyramid scheme and that disturbs me. However, the product is AMAZING. It is a blend of 19 fruits from all over the globe plus glucosamine. I have more energy, I am not snacking and I am much more active. None of my joints hurt, I have no soreness in my knees and ankles after walking and I just generally feel better. Kenny has been taking it too, and he has reluctantly admitted that he feels better also. My mother and her husband have started taking it in addition to my sister and her husband. It's a really great product.

So, here is my concession. I have not signed on as a distributor, but Bridgett has. The cheapest way to get the product is to order 12 cases at a time; 4 bottles to a case, 1 bottle lasts 2 people a week. If you would like to try the product, but don't want to get sucked in to MLM debacle, please let me know. As long as we can get 12 cases you will pay the same price we pay, NO MARKUP!!!! For me, the most unethical part of the whole pyramid scheme is making money off of your friends and family. This is why, by the way, my Tastefully Simple business has not made me independently wealthy!

I am not a salesperson by nature, but I do love to share; abundancy and generosity are wonderful principles, and if you put them into practice in your life the blessings rain down.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Wish List Item #11

11. Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.

It amazes me how irritated some people get when they learn that you homeschool. I actually had someone tell me that requiring homeschool parents to have a teaching degree would be a comfort to her. Are you kidding me? How are my educational choices of any consequence to a total stranger? Of course I asked her! She said she didn't want her life being governed by a "bunch of people who never went to school and only had their moms to teach them." Really? Are you freaking kidding me? Newsflash folks, your life already is governed by a whole slew of "those people".
That little thing called the US Constitution? Thank some homeschoolers. Do you enjoy electricity? The telephone? Flying? Do you enjoy having a female doctor? Thank some homeschoolers.

I do not believe that public education is a horrific torture chamber to be avoided at all cost. I do think it is a flawed system that does not allow children to grow at their own pace and I think kids are pushed into certain concepts too early. For example, boys do not gain the fine motor skills necessary to read and write comfortably until they are closer to 7 than 5. I do not believe that every child who is not reading and writing in Kindergarten is in need of special services. That same kids may not learn to read until 8, and can still go on to be a voracious, well read student. I also don't believe in requiring children to produce something every time they learn something. At young ages it is enough for them to learn, and perhaps do a narrative. Projects and book reports create frustration. If a kid can't read without having to produce something, they won't read! Honestly, how much of your kids' projects are completed by your kids? And how much say do the kids get in their projects? Do these projects enhance the lessons they learned in their reading? Will they remember the book or the aggravation of the project?

The higher grades offer more diversity, the kids have a wider vocabulary to express their needs and wants and the teachers are more apt to consider their opinion. Of course I am assuming the teachers are caring, the kids are motivated and the parents are involved. With those three factors a kids can get a wonderful education nearly anywhere! If there are not religious constraints there are lots of wonderful private schools, and scholarships are available. But here in our area, the cost of private school rivals college tuition! And even with a scholarship for tuition there are all those added costs like uniforms and materials. And I don't really want my child spending hours a day commuting to school.

Homeschooling is not for everyone, nor do I think every child who is not homeschooled is receiving a sub-par education. I do not question your educational choices for your children, I certainly do not appreciate strangers questioning mine.

Monday, April 7, 2008

November

Nathan Lane is hysterically funny. Last Sunday afternoon dh and I went into the city to see November with Nathan Lane in the starring role as President who's time is up. He has no money for a reelection campaign and his supporters have all left him. He is joined on stage by Dylan Baker as his attorney and advisor, and Laurie Metcalf as his speech writer. All three of them work together beautifully and the whole play is funny from start to finish.

If you get a chance, I highly recommend seeing this while Nathan Lane is still part of the cast. i don't think you will be disappointed.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Wish List Item #10

10. We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.





This one is so timely! This is the time of year I both love and loathe, usually simultaneously. You see, usually by April we are finishing up our year. We are getting done all those last minute lessons that have been put off for one reason or another and making sure the kids are prepped for standardized testing (yes, we do that too!). The signs of spring are in the air, and the kids are re-energized and driven to finish all their work by May. Field trips begin to out number seat time, books are finished and filed and summer is on the horizon!



Unfortunately, this is also the time of year I start planning for next year. Curriculum is cheap on ebay as other families finish up and want to rid themselves of books. Vendors begin warehouse sales and conventions, there is really a whole season underway! For me, this is the most unrewarding and tedious part of homeschooling. Every year I have to sit down and put our family (and myself) under a microscope. We discuss what we loved and what we hated. What worked and what was a huge disaster. Then we look toward what we hope to accomplish and how we dream to get there. While this sounds really exciting as I type, the reality is much less pretty! This is the time of year I second guess myself and my choices. I never know if our oldest is getting enough of the right things, and if I have chosen work that is challenging and engaging without being intimidating. The younger two are easy, it's a "been there done that" sort of path with them. Certainly the books change, but the overall time schedules and subjects are always the same.



Our oldest will be doing 6th & 7th grade this year, and she has a real mastery of most math concepts. Every year I have to search and search for a math text that is not just repetition of what we have already done. I found one I really liked this year, but the whole book was a prep for NYS standardized testing!!! Yes, the WHOLE book! While the content was fabulous, the layout was horribly confusing. I ended up just using the Table of Contents and finding my own lessons on the topics outlined.

I can't wait to have all of our plans and books in place, I really enjoy teaching my children and being there with them as they successfully learn something new! There is no greater joy in the world than seeing your children succeed and feel the pride that comes with hard work.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Day of Silence

http://www.dayofsilence.org/

Religion is not the only thing that doesn't belong in school. I do not believe public schools are the place for certain types of political activism as well.

Did you visit the above link? Did you look at the list of schools that are participating? http://www.missionamerica.com/agenda.php?articlenum=78 Southold is one of them..."right here in River City...."

In trying to be so politically correct as not to offend anyone, we are ending up offending everyone.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Wish List Items #8 & #9

8. Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.
9. Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.


We happen to be religious, and homeschooling partially for religious reasons, but it did not start out that way. I may have shared this before, I don't recall.

We initially began homeschooling because our oldest daughter needed her family around her, for more than just 3 or 4 waking hours a day. She was experiencing some changes in her life that were causing her physical and emotional discomforts. Couple that with her coming home from school to discover a whole litany of new behaviors from her brother and sister, and you have a small child disconnecting from her family.

It is of utmost importance to me that my children be raised in the teachings of The Bible. It's really wonderful to have the opportunities to weave those stories and values into our everyday lessons and experiences. But there are plenty of homeschoolers, right here in our area, who are either not religious at all, or choosing not to school in a religious manner. Our homeschool group is a wonderful mix of many religions (including no religion) and cultures and lifestyles. There are loads of conferences and gatherings all across the county where homeschoolers can mix and mingle with families of every kind.

Homeschooling is about freedom. Freedom to do what is best for your family, whatever that means for you.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The School Threat, Part 2

My husband is a wonderful man...but not today!

For those that don't know, dh and I also work together. I was feeling very good about myself yesterday after getting up early, feeding all the animals, throwing in a load of laundry and sitting at my desk by 7:30...yes, that's a.m.! Then my cell phone rings at 10:00, unfortunately the babysitter had been in a car accident and was unable to come (she was unhurt). I called home and told dh he was on his own, that I would do the tasks he left incomplete the day before and I would try to be home by 2:00.
Well, 2:00 came and went, as when dh is not in the office I am next in line for whatever problems arise. So I called at 2:15 to tell him he didn't need to come in, I would finish getting everything together and all was well. Then, silly me, I made the mistake of asking him if he was enjoying his time with the kids. His response? "They need to go to school."

This really hurt my feelings, which is unusual, and caught me a little off guard. I first thought I was upset because he put himself behind homeschooling and has been pretty supportive, in his own way. I felt a little betrayed, and annoyed at the prospect of explaining all over again why I thought homeschooling was the right choice for our family. You see, I think I have previously told you that we review our decision every year, for every child. Part of the reason for doing that is so that we ensure we are still doing it for the right reasons, but also so once the decision is made we don't have to rehash it until the next year. But after having some time to think and reflect, I realize that wasn't the real reason my feelings were hurt.

Homeschooling is a lot more than teaching your children the basics of reading, writing, math, history, etc. Homeschooling is a lifestyle choice, it is about raising your family with all of the morals, values and traditions that are important to you. It is keeping them close to you and nurturing them right where they are. For me, it is more important to raise strong, moral, Christian adults than to make sure my 4 year old knows how to write her name.

Time is short, and life can be taken in a breath. I hope and pray my children will outlive me, and I will grow old with lots of beautiful grandchildren. But there are no guarantees, and I intend to cherish each moment God gives us together. A very wise Mama told me "Childhood is not a dress rehearsal." This really was a special moment, and one I try to recall in those times when I wonder whose nasty children came down for breakfast!

You only get one chance to raise your children, they are not an inconvenience to be suffered, they are blessings to be honored.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The School Threat

My husband is a wonderful man, he is kind, hard working, thoughtful...and a complete idiot sometimes!!!!

Today we had some of our homeschool group to our house for a music class. We were anticipating approximately 20 kids and a half dozen or so adults. So I decided today was as good a day as any to clean the first floor and catch up on some laundry. At breakfast I asked the girls to please remove all of their things from the kitchen and put them where they belong. 15 minutes later I am alone in the kitchen with tons of stuff that does not belong to me or the kitchen. Silly me decided to complain to dear 'ol Dad that his children weren't listening to me and I was frustated before I had my coffe (never a good sign). His response? "Put them in school."

Now you tell me in what perverted universe will putting my children into school improve their behavior? And who is going to drag them out of bed in the morning, dress them, pack lunches and backpacks and have them on a bus before 8:00? And who is going to get them off the bus and feed them a snack and do their homework and put supper on the table? And if they decide they don't want a bath on a given night who is going to fight with them to take one anyway so they don't go to school dirty? Who is going to shop for and construct the 8000 stupid projects that the kids hate? Who is going to explain to them why we don't believe we came from monkeys and that the world just blew up into exsistence? Who is going to comfort the child who got bullied, or picked last for dodgeball?

Now, I fully recognize that many of the above annoyances are important, character building experiences. But the whole reason we have chosen to homeschool is so we can control the circumstances surrounding these events, and make adjustments as necessary. If my 10 year old wants to skip a bath and read a book till midnight, she would be unable to wake up for school and be smelly to boot. If my 4 year old decides to be a bully, we can pull her aside and explain right then and there why that behavior is unacceptable and guide her into a more appropriate method. If my 6 year old wants to learn how to build a birdhouse before he learns how to tie his shoes, I can be there to tie his shoes for him (and hold the nails!).

Homeschooling is a challenge; it isn't always pretty and we sometimes don't all like each other very much. But we get through it, together, and that is a lesson that cannot be taught in school.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Broadway

It's Valentine's Day, and we usually try to do something as a family rather than spend money on cards and candy and flowers that die in a day. This year dear hubby and I took two of our kids into the city to see Mary Poppins on Broadway.

As this was our son's first trip into the city for anything significant, so we wanted to make it memorable. I found this great restaurant that looked wonderful online. It's called Mars 2112 and it's at 51st and Broadway. You start your adventure with a greeting from your space captain, who ushers you into a spacecraft for your trip to Mars. 5 bumpy, slightly nauseating minutes later you arrive on Mars and are greeted by a space host. Mars is red, and quite rocky, so be sure to watch your step! The Martians are quite friendly and their cuisine is similar to ours, just a bit pricier. They also have lots of fun games, and kids 10 and under can play one for free, then you have to pay but they take Earth money.

We returned to earth and walked the 9 blocks down to 42nd street. Middle child was awed by all the lights and tall buildings, and it was wonderful to witness his first Manhattan encounter. I wish we had time to have allowed a ride on the Ferris Wheel in Toys R Us, that nearly caused a meltdown, but he recovered quickly.

Mary Poppins was a fantastic show, great effects, amazing songs, the script was true to the book....all in all it was a really amazing night.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Wish List Item #7

7 We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.

I have said before, and I will say it again, I am certain there are some wonderful public schools in the country. Clearly there are people who have completed 12 years of public school education and gone on to succeed in whatever it is they chose to pursue. That being said, the former President's of Princeton, Stanford and Columbia were all homeschooled. The man who invented the Stanford-Binet IQ Test homeschooled his son, and he himself was a principal! What does that say?

Some currently well known homeschoolers and homeschooling parents include: Dakota Fanning, Sandra Day O'Conner, Will Smith, Kelly Preston & John Travolta, Venus & Serena Williams, Whoopi Goldberg, Jennifer Love Hewitt... and the list of famous names from history is not only long, but impressive. Many of the most well known inventors were homeschooled.

Homeschooling allows individuals to pursue a subject until they are done. There is no reason to stop learning if there is still interest. I was listening to a talk radio "news" blurb a few weeks back. Something about millions of balls being dumped out onto the steps of some significant building somewhere in Italy in protest of something. After the short "story" my 6 year old asked me what that was about, and I had no answer. Are our attention spans so short that we can't even listen to an actual news story? That same night Larry King spent 15 minutes talking about the poor Marine found in a hole in her rapist's back yard and 45 minutes talking about Britney Spears being taken to a hospital. C'mon people, in what twisted realm is Britney Spears news? And why is Larry King reducing himself to spending the majority of his NEWS hour discussing her?

My children are learning. They are avid readers, they are creative, they are social, they are civic minded and they are thriving. They can hold a conversation, they can listen to me for more than 5 minutes and they can (nearly) sit through a whole sermon at church. They know who is running for President and why, they know how our Town government is run and how our Town differs from surrounding villages and/or boroughs. They know Bible stories, fables, fairy tales and key pieces of literature. They color, paint, sculpt and fashion art from scrap. They recycle, care for pets, grow vegetables and flowers, identify trees, birds and various bugs. They can count, add, subtract, multiply and divide (as is age appropriate of course). They can halve or double a recipe, they can set a proper place setting and they know how to fold cloth napkins. They can sew, crochet, swim, play various sports, recognize multiple ballets and pieces of music.

Lest you think me immodest, I cannot take the credit for a good half of what my children know. They are curious, and I direct them to the source most likely to satisfy their curiosity. Learning is not a 9-3 endeavor, teaching moments are all around you if you are quiet enough to see them.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Wish List Item #6

6 Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.

I had an epiphany a few years back; I realized that my mother is a wonderful Grandma. She wasn't the best mother to me, but she is definitely outdoing herself as a Grandma. You see, I wa that annoying child that never stopped asking "Why?" and my mother had no idea what to do with that. She thought I was questioning her authority, when really I was just plain questioning. I have one of those children now, and I pray everyday that I answer his questions with patience, lest he stop questioning.

I have come to relalize, as I think most moms do, that my mother the best job she could with what she had. I am a relatively normal, well adjusted adult, and I am raising my children with the morals, values and experiences that she and my father helped instill. Someday, God willing, my children will be normal, well adjusted adults. They will look back on their childhood and say "I'm never doing that to my child!" Hopefully they will also say "I can't wait to pass this tradition on to my child."

None of us knows how the choices we make for our children today will affect their lives tomorrow. Homeschooling is a personal choice, one that I am passionate about and one I firmly believe is my God-given responsibility (but that's a whole other post!). DH and I do the best we can with what is in front of us today, and pray for the strength and wisdon to do better tomorrow..... don't you?

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Back to Reality

I am such a derelict blogger, finding the time is a huge challenge. In any case, we have returned from a wonderful vacation and are settling back into a routine.

As I mentioned, our vacation was part of an international gathering of unschoolers. Now, it is hard to define unschooling, as that is kind of an oxy moron, but the general thrust is that all learning is child-led. There is no set lesson plan for the day, no work that MUST get done. I don't really subscribe to this way of thinking, especially as my children get older. That being said, it does make a lot of sense to me in the abstract. Children are naturally curious, and they want to learn. There are days when we spend hours learning about the spider in the cobwebs I haven't cleaned. Other days we get so caught up in baking or nature walks or drawing, that not much else gets done. Those days, we are unintentionally unschooling. However, the next day I emphasise the traditional book learning that I feel needs to be addressed.

All that being said, I am also curious. I want to know how families have completely unschooled successful, productive children into their adulthood. I know it happens, as I have seen these (now) adults with my own eyes! They have attained college degrees and are now leading happy lives in their chosen field. I fail to grasp how it is possible to unschool algebra or geometry. I can't even get my son to want to tie his shoes, how in the world do you get a math resistant child excited about algebra?

I am off to ponder these complexities, perhaps the 8 loads of laundry I have waiting for me will inspire radical thinking :)

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Vacation

I have scheduled our entire family for a long overdue vacation. While watching the Travel Channel last year we learned about America's 10 Best Water Parks. My son was fascinated by a place called Noah's Ark and decided that was where we HAD to take our next vacation. Through the miracle of Google I began my education into the Wisconsin Dells and a plan was formed. During the heat and sunshine of a Long Island July, I started looking into a January water park adventure. Yes, you read that correctly, a water park, in Wisconsin in January. At that time, the Kalahari Resort in Wisconsin was the World's Largest Indoor Water park. Southwest has $39 flights to Chicago Midway and the Dells are only a 90 minute drive from there, we were set!
Then October rolls around and I find the Unschooler Winter Water park Getaway to, guess where? The Kalahari Resort in Sandusky, Ohio; at that time the World's Second Largest Indoor Waterpark. But, don't ya know, Sandusky is undergoing extensive renovations in December, and by the time they reopen they will be the largest. And, since such a large block of rooms is being booked in January, the price was too amazing to pass up.

So, at 4:30 Monday morning the thrice blest family will be heading to Islip to hop a plane to Cleveland for a short drive to Sandusky. By lunchtime my derriere will be circling the lazy river while my children play happily nearby. For 5 warm, water filled days we will relax and play with fellow homeschoolers from all across the nation and a few from Canada and beyond. No one will care that my 6 year old can't read the signs, or marvel that my 4 year old can. Our mostly organic diet will pale in comparison to raw vegans. Other kids will be reading books instead of playing video games and we will have a whole week without hearing "no school today?" And did I mention the Lazy River?!

We are SO ready for this getaway, now if I could just find those goggles....