Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The School Threat, Part 2

My husband is a wonderful man...but not today!

For those that don't know, dh and I also work together. I was feeling very good about myself yesterday after getting up early, feeding all the animals, throwing in a load of laundry and sitting at my desk by 7:30...yes, that's a.m.! Then my cell phone rings at 10:00, unfortunately the babysitter had been in a car accident and was unable to come (she was unhurt). I called home and told dh he was on his own, that I would do the tasks he left incomplete the day before and I would try to be home by 2:00.
Well, 2:00 came and went, as when dh is not in the office I am next in line for whatever problems arise. So I called at 2:15 to tell him he didn't need to come in, I would finish getting everything together and all was well. Then, silly me, I made the mistake of asking him if he was enjoying his time with the kids. His response? "They need to go to school."

This really hurt my feelings, which is unusual, and caught me a little off guard. I first thought I was upset because he put himself behind homeschooling and has been pretty supportive, in his own way. I felt a little betrayed, and annoyed at the prospect of explaining all over again why I thought homeschooling was the right choice for our family. You see, I think I have previously told you that we review our decision every year, for every child. Part of the reason for doing that is so that we ensure we are still doing it for the right reasons, but also so once the decision is made we don't have to rehash it until the next year. But after having some time to think and reflect, I realize that wasn't the real reason my feelings were hurt.

Homeschooling is a lot more than teaching your children the basics of reading, writing, math, history, etc. Homeschooling is a lifestyle choice, it is about raising your family with all of the morals, values and traditions that are important to you. It is keeping them close to you and nurturing them right where they are. For me, it is more important to raise strong, moral, Christian adults than to make sure my 4 year old knows how to write her name.

Time is short, and life can be taken in a breath. I hope and pray my children will outlive me, and I will grow old with lots of beautiful grandchildren. But there are no guarantees, and I intend to cherish each moment God gives us together. A very wise Mama told me "Childhood is not a dress rehearsal." This really was a special moment, and one I try to recall in those times when I wonder whose nasty children came down for breakfast!

You only get one chance to raise your children, they are not an inconvenience to be suffered, they are blessings to be honored.


Nan Patience said...

It's hard when you have important differences with your spouse, especially when it relates to the children.

I just had an important difference myself, with my husband, this past weekend. So it's fresh in my mind just how hard it can be. Usually what we do is have a big fight with hurt feelings and stupid behavior, and then after everyone has stewed for a while and it becomes safer to speak, we do. Or sometimes we don't really get to the bottom of it, and it'll rear its ugly head again at another time. :))

In the meantime, it's very upsetting and it's hard to function, for us anyway.

Your homeschooling choice is obviously a decision based on deep feelings... Guys tend to be a bit more practical-oriented. And it sounds like you're having some behavior issues with the kids, which compounds the problem. Sometimes I don't know which comes first, the chicken or the egg.

Here's my unsolicited advice: get together with your husband, send the kids off for a day, talk through it, make some decisions, dissect the problems, come up with a plan, lay it down for the whole family, and stick to it.


Mom of 3 said...

That's exactly it Nan! We already went through the discussing, arranging, compromising phase, and are (I thought) in the sticking with it phase. At least until June rolls around again.
Men just need to get with the program and start thinking like women :) Ha!! Would that be a blessing or a curse?!!!

Anonymous Blogger said...

When the going gets tough, men like to take the easy way out. I find that in my house at least. When my husband and I decide something together and life throws us something unexpected, my husband wants to quit and change plans mid-course. I like to stick with it and get through it. It also shows the children that you fight for what you want no matter how difficult life becomes. Life is not easy sometimes.

Nan Patience said...

Yeah, where would we be if we all did things the easy way, huh?

(Actually, ya know, they may have a point.)