Sunday, January 23, 2011

Kudos to Linda Dobson

http://www.parentatthehelm.com/3758/why-homeschooling-mothers-are-superior/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ParentAtTheHelmBlog+%28PARENT+AT+THE+HELM+BLOG%29

The above link is an article by Linda Dobson (no relation to Dr. James Dobson) on Why Homeschooling Mothers are Superior. I have been following with interest the article by Amy Chua on why she believes Chinese mothers are superior. The article horrifies me, and I cannot imagine why berating, belittling and shaming children can be touted as successful parenting tools. A better question is, why is the parent taking credit for the "success" of the child ?

I understand the innate feeling of pride a parent feels when their child achieves a goal or is recognized by others as talented. My smallest blessing has chosen to pursue competitive gymnastics. Frankly, she is quite good at it and has been since she first stepped onto a mat at the age of 3. I enrolled all three children in a homeschool gymnastics class along with 3 of their friends, solely to provide fun exercise in the middle of winter. Kyleigh took to it right away and felt pure joy with each session. She now spends anywhere from 12-15 hours a week in the gym and countless more hours in the basement on her bar and/or beam. She LOVES gymnastics. The result of her hard work and dedication can be seen in the form of the many medals, ribbons and trophies she proudly displays all over the house. Am I proud of her? Of course! Probably sinfully so! Do I think her success is in any way a feather in my cap? Absolutely not. It's not me getting battered and bloody in the gym 4-5 days a week. I am not the one doing sit ups and rope climbing till my muscles scream. It isn't me doing cartwheels and back walk-overs on a 4" piece of wood 4' off the floor! Her success is her own.

Our oldest daughter won lots of ribbons in equestrian events, and our son is gifted at whatever sport he chooses. Our children are talented and passionate and delightful people. They know that they are loved and more importantly, that we trust them. They are free to explore their passions, with as little or as much dedication as they have at the time. They pick things up and put them down at will, and know that we support them without question.

Society does not define success in our home. We judge our own success by the way we treat each other, and the tenor of our home. Come visit, we hope you will be blessed.

Monday, January 3, 2011

You're the Mama!!

If you are questioning whether the choice you have made is the right one, chances are it isn't! As parents, we want what's best for our children. I don't know why I am still surprised by the responses we get when people learn we homeschool. The kids nearly always say "I want to be homeschooled!" and the parents nearly always say "I could never do that!". Well guess what, yes you can. And I believe many people should!
I do not see a lot of gray area in the raising of children. You chose to have them, you are choosing to raise them, and it is your obligation to make the decisions that best benefit them. If you are a loving, compassionate parent, you can homeschool. And for at least the first years, I believe children should be educated at home. Compulsory age makes me crazy! I don't understand the determining factors, and it is different from State to State. Here in New York, it is 6-16; while in Pennsylvania it is 8-17. Who decides these things, and on what do they base their opinions?
Children need love, support and unconditional acceptance in their early years. What better place to receive these things than from their parents? No one knows your child better than you. No one can give your child with as much unconditional love as you. No one understands your child's needs better than you. No one knows better than you what your child needs in those moments of less than desirable behavior. When kids are "misbehaving", do they need to be sent to the principal or given a detention? Or do they need someone to help them articulate their needs and find a way to get them met? Is that going to happen in a room full of needy 5 year olds? Is your child going to learn compassion, understanding, empathy and communication skills?
I hate the idea of Kindergarten. It really breaks my heart that loving parents believe that they need to push their 5 year old out into the world, into the care of a stranger for 4-8 hours a day. Here in New York there is no half-day Kindergarten, children go from being with their parents all day to not seeing them for more than half of their waking hours. This breaks my heart!
Fortunately, here in the USA, we have choices. Homeschooling is legal and many amazing support structure are in place.
You CAN homeschool. Let your babies grow up at home, in the love and care of their parents. You chose to have them, they are yours to raise, not the State's.