Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The School Threat, Part 2

My husband is a wonderful man...but not today!

For those that don't know, dh and I also work together. I was feeling very good about myself yesterday after getting up early, feeding all the animals, throwing in a load of laundry and sitting at my desk by 7:30...yes, that's a.m.! Then my cell phone rings at 10:00, unfortunately the babysitter had been in a car accident and was unable to come (she was unhurt). I called home and told dh he was on his own, that I would do the tasks he left incomplete the day before and I would try to be home by 2:00.
Well, 2:00 came and went, as when dh is not in the office I am next in line for whatever problems arise. So I called at 2:15 to tell him he didn't need to come in, I would finish getting everything together and all was well. Then, silly me, I made the mistake of asking him if he was enjoying his time with the kids. His response? "They need to go to school."

This really hurt my feelings, which is unusual, and caught me a little off guard. I first thought I was upset because he put himself behind homeschooling and has been pretty supportive, in his own way. I felt a little betrayed, and annoyed at the prospect of explaining all over again why I thought homeschooling was the right choice for our family. You see, I think I have previously told you that we review our decision every year, for every child. Part of the reason for doing that is so that we ensure we are still doing it for the right reasons, but also so once the decision is made we don't have to rehash it until the next year. But after having some time to think and reflect, I realize that wasn't the real reason my feelings were hurt.

Homeschooling is a lot more than teaching your children the basics of reading, writing, math, history, etc. Homeschooling is a lifestyle choice, it is about raising your family with all of the morals, values and traditions that are important to you. It is keeping them close to you and nurturing them right where they are. For me, it is more important to raise strong, moral, Christian adults than to make sure my 4 year old knows how to write her name.

Time is short, and life can be taken in a breath. I hope and pray my children will outlive me, and I will grow old with lots of beautiful grandchildren. But there are no guarantees, and I intend to cherish each moment God gives us together. A very wise Mama told me "Childhood is not a dress rehearsal." This really was a special moment, and one I try to recall in those times when I wonder whose nasty children came down for breakfast!

You only get one chance to raise your children, they are not an inconvenience to be suffered, they are blessings to be honored.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The School Threat

My husband is a wonderful man, he is kind, hard working, thoughtful...and a complete idiot sometimes!!!!

Today we had some of our homeschool group to our house for a music class. We were anticipating approximately 20 kids and a half dozen or so adults. So I decided today was as good a day as any to clean the first floor and catch up on some laundry. At breakfast I asked the girls to please remove all of their things from the kitchen and put them where they belong. 15 minutes later I am alone in the kitchen with tons of stuff that does not belong to me or the kitchen. Silly me decided to complain to dear 'ol Dad that his children weren't listening to me and I was frustated before I had my coffe (never a good sign). His response? "Put them in school."

Now you tell me in what perverted universe will putting my children into school improve their behavior? And who is going to drag them out of bed in the morning, dress them, pack lunches and backpacks and have them on a bus before 8:00? And who is going to get them off the bus and feed them a snack and do their homework and put supper on the table? And if they decide they don't want a bath on a given night who is going to fight with them to take one anyway so they don't go to school dirty? Who is going to shop for and construct the 8000 stupid projects that the kids hate? Who is going to explain to them why we don't believe we came from monkeys and that the world just blew up into exsistence? Who is going to comfort the child who got bullied, or picked last for dodgeball?

Now, I fully recognize that many of the above annoyances are important, character building experiences. But the whole reason we have chosen to homeschool is so we can control the circumstances surrounding these events, and make adjustments as necessary. If my 10 year old wants to skip a bath and read a book till midnight, she would be unable to wake up for school and be smelly to boot. If my 4 year old decides to be a bully, we can pull her aside and explain right then and there why that behavior is unacceptable and guide her into a more appropriate method. If my 6 year old wants to learn how to build a birdhouse before he learns how to tie his shoes, I can be there to tie his shoes for him (and hold the nails!).

Homeschooling is a challenge; it isn't always pretty and we sometimes don't all like each other very much. But we get through it, together, and that is a lesson that cannot be taught in school.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Broadway

It's Valentine's Day, and we usually try to do something as a family rather than spend money on cards and candy and flowers that die in a day. This year dear hubby and I took two of our kids into the city to see Mary Poppins on Broadway.

As this was our son's first trip into the city for anything significant, so we wanted to make it memorable. I found this great restaurant that looked wonderful online. It's called Mars 2112 and it's at 51st and Broadway. You start your adventure with a greeting from your space captain, who ushers you into a spacecraft for your trip to Mars. 5 bumpy, slightly nauseating minutes later you arrive on Mars and are greeted by a space host. Mars is red, and quite rocky, so be sure to watch your step! The Martians are quite friendly and their cuisine is similar to ours, just a bit pricier. They also have lots of fun games, and kids 10 and under can play one for free, then you have to pay but they take Earth money.

We returned to earth and walked the 9 blocks down to 42nd street. Middle child was awed by all the lights and tall buildings, and it was wonderful to witness his first Manhattan encounter. I wish we had time to have allowed a ride on the Ferris Wheel in Toys R Us, that nearly caused a meltdown, but he recovered quickly.

Mary Poppins was a fantastic show, great effects, amazing songs, the script was true to the book....all in all it was a really amazing night.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Wish List Item #7

7 We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.

I have said before, and I will say it again, I am certain there are some wonderful public schools in the country. Clearly there are people who have completed 12 years of public school education and gone on to succeed in whatever it is they chose to pursue. That being said, the former President's of Princeton, Stanford and Columbia were all homeschooled. The man who invented the Stanford-Binet IQ Test homeschooled his son, and he himself was a principal! What does that say?

Some currently well known homeschoolers and homeschooling parents include: Dakota Fanning, Sandra Day O'Conner, Will Smith, Kelly Preston & John Travolta, Venus & Serena Williams, Whoopi Goldberg, Jennifer Love Hewitt... and the list of famous names from history is not only long, but impressive. Many of the most well known inventors were homeschooled.

Homeschooling allows individuals to pursue a subject until they are done. There is no reason to stop learning if there is still interest. I was listening to a talk radio "news" blurb a few weeks back. Something about millions of balls being dumped out onto the steps of some significant building somewhere in Italy in protest of something. After the short "story" my 6 year old asked me what that was about, and I had no answer. Are our attention spans so short that we can't even listen to an actual news story? That same night Larry King spent 15 minutes talking about the poor Marine found in a hole in her rapist's back yard and 45 minutes talking about Britney Spears being taken to a hospital. C'mon people, in what twisted realm is Britney Spears news? And why is Larry King reducing himself to spending the majority of his NEWS hour discussing her?

My children are learning. They are avid readers, they are creative, they are social, they are civic minded and they are thriving. They can hold a conversation, they can listen to me for more than 5 minutes and they can (nearly) sit through a whole sermon at church. They know who is running for President and why, they know how our Town government is run and how our Town differs from surrounding villages and/or boroughs. They know Bible stories, fables, fairy tales and key pieces of literature. They color, paint, sculpt and fashion art from scrap. They recycle, care for pets, grow vegetables and flowers, identify trees, birds and various bugs. They can count, add, subtract, multiply and divide (as is age appropriate of course). They can halve or double a recipe, they can set a proper place setting and they know how to fold cloth napkins. They can sew, crochet, swim, play various sports, recognize multiple ballets and pieces of music.

Lest you think me immodest, I cannot take the credit for a good half of what my children know. They are curious, and I direct them to the source most likely to satisfy their curiosity. Learning is not a 9-3 endeavor, teaching moments are all around you if you are quiet enough to see them.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Wish List Item #6

6 Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.

I had an epiphany a few years back; I realized that my mother is a wonderful Grandma. She wasn't the best mother to me, but she is definitely outdoing herself as a Grandma. You see, I wa that annoying child that never stopped asking "Why?" and my mother had no idea what to do with that. She thought I was questioning her authority, when really I was just plain questioning. I have one of those children now, and I pray everyday that I answer his questions with patience, lest he stop questioning.

I have come to relalize, as I think most moms do, that my mother the best job she could with what she had. I am a relatively normal, well adjusted adult, and I am raising my children with the morals, values and experiences that she and my father helped instill. Someday, God willing, my children will be normal, well adjusted adults. They will look back on their childhood and say "I'm never doing that to my child!" Hopefully they will also say "I can't wait to pass this tradition on to my child."

None of us knows how the choices we make for our children today will affect their lives tomorrow. Homeschooling is a personal choice, one that I am passionate about and one I firmly believe is my God-given responsibility (but that's a whole other post!). DH and I do the best we can with what is in front of us today, and pray for the strength and wisdon to do better tomorrow..... don't you?

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Back to Reality

I am such a derelict blogger, finding the time is a huge challenge. In any case, we have returned from a wonderful vacation and are settling back into a routine.

As I mentioned, our vacation was part of an international gathering of unschoolers. Now, it is hard to define unschooling, as that is kind of an oxy moron, but the general thrust is that all learning is child-led. There is no set lesson plan for the day, no work that MUST get done. I don't really subscribe to this way of thinking, especially as my children get older. That being said, it does make a lot of sense to me in the abstract. Children are naturally curious, and they want to learn. There are days when we spend hours learning about the spider in the cobwebs I haven't cleaned. Other days we get so caught up in baking or nature walks or drawing, that not much else gets done. Those days, we are unintentionally unschooling. However, the next day I emphasise the traditional book learning that I feel needs to be addressed.

All that being said, I am also curious. I want to know how families have completely unschooled successful, productive children into their adulthood. I know it happens, as I have seen these (now) adults with my own eyes! They have attained college degrees and are now leading happy lives in their chosen field. I fail to grasp how it is possible to unschool algebra or geometry. I can't even get my son to want to tie his shoes, how in the world do you get a math resistant child excited about algebra?

I am off to ponder these complexities, perhaps the 8 loads of laundry I have waiting for me will inspire radical thinking :)